| Midway in our life's journey, I went astray
from the straight road and woke to find myself
alone in a dark wood.
- Dante Alighieri
The Divine Comedy
I often wonder what eats up my time (knowing for sure that isn't my story) and find myself baffled.
I think life after college is pretty much a trip people try to avoid (especially if they knew beforehand just what kind of situation they'd find themselves in - that is if you're the average American. I can't speak for anyone else because I haven't been anything but [Asian-]American all my life).
Well, I've always believed consistency is a vital key to success in anything, whether it's cooking a great dish or becoming a famous writer. Sadly, I'm being more consistent nowadays at not writing, not finding a job, not getting back into shape, not eating right, not working on my photography, not researching and applying for grad school, not doing a lot of things that I should be doing.
I'm really feeling the blow now for not writing more often because I find it hard to remember important details about my characters, their goals, the storyline... I sound like I'm getting old (and going on fifty next week), but I've been so worn out lately by not allowing myself some room for doing what I enjoy (like truly enjoy, and that is writing and working on my artworks - I usually delight more in what I do not get paid for, it's weird...).
My lack of consistency has gotten so bad that I did not even realize that I had typed out the chapter numbers in digits instead of spelling the numbers out. Chapter 51 and 52 had been typed out as so instead of the usual "Fifty-one" and "Fifty-two" - and then I started freaking out (even though no one noticed) because I'm usually a perfectionist/procrastinator-hence-perfectionist.
This pretty much added to my being-bummed-all-day mood (which started off at freaking 7am cause I had to take my little sisters to school, pick up my mom at the airport (8:45am), and then slept in until 4pm (because I was up late last night watching an old Stephen Chow film). When I woke up and showered, I ate a somewhat unhealthy but delicious dinner made by my mom (who is finally back from her Hawaii vacation), picked up the kids from school, then went grocery shopping and did nothing useful (except edit one of my impatient client's photographs) until now, 3:15am. However, I feel pretty damn determined at the moment to turn this thing around and become more consistent at writing (nothing gets me going more than having competition).
I think I owe it to myself and to my hardworking editors to sharpen up and get rid of my pathetic habits. They're pretty much out of work when I don't write and become all lazy and pathetic like this.
But laziness can be such a bitch, and I think I'm bound for depression anyway.
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| My Livejournal status says that the last post was 9 weeks ago... that's about a little over two months. And that's how long it's been since I've posted. I must admit that Chapter 51 is by far the most difficult chapter for me to write. I'm not sure if it was a writers-block or if I was just too busy, but writing is one of my priorities, so it couldn't have possibly been the latter (or at least if it was, my busy schedule is not a cause for my lack-of-updates, I promise you that).
Either way, aside from a few very devoted readers and followers of the story, I don't think it matters much to the majority. I'm just glad that I finally made it through this chapter. Nothing much happens, but I think my motivation also comes from the faster and more exciting chapters, so when I have to write a chapter that has duller contents, my imagination and sense of creativity takes a vacation without informing me. I was stuck on this very chapter for two months, and yes, the holiday season was partially at fault here, but I think I just was not able to write due to a mini-depression.
But hey, all writers (especially those who are human) go through tough times once in a while, and this was one of those times. It reminded me of the time when I was near finishing my story, Dark Blue and I just could not bring myself to completely the last few chapters. My readers must've waited nearly half a year for me to finish. I also think I need to start setting deadlines for myself. 'Real' authors have deadlines. I should have deadlines, too, even if I don't make a living with writing. I managed to pull through Dark Blue because I had set my deadline to be the 31st of December that year (2004) and crunched like hell to finish. Hey, it worked, so I might try it again.
But now that Chapter 51 is done with, I will be moving on with my life. I will set a deadline for 52 to be written and edited before this month is over, and even that is aiming pretty high for me at this point. I had read a fashion blog a few days ago and the authors (there were two of them) had to discontinue their blogging adventures due to the fact that they were now done with college and life was taking over, leaving them very little time for doing what they enjoyed so freely while being students. I think I understand what they're going through, except I have put too much love and time into my baby to let it go, so I must persist until this triology is complete. Not only would it be a waste of my time, but also my editor's times, and my reader's times. I already suck so much for leading my readers on for three(?) years now, so I might as well make it worth something in the end.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I will answer some questions that a few readers here and there have asked (since I am open to questions and discussions about the story and characters). I do apologize for taking this long just to answer questions, but I did not want to blog here without a new chapter, so yeah.
I will answer those that I deem relevant to Wolf & Sheep. All are in random order and out of order.
From valmylove (shinhwa.biz/forums)
can you blog a bit on where you get these ideas? or ideas of what to come? for example, was it from a movie, drama, personal experiences? I get ideas for Wolf & Sheep from a lot of sources, and I draw from whatever I think will be a useful add to my story, but instead of "ideas", I am instead inspired by novels I read, movies I love, daily and old newspapers, other people's conversations, class lectures, books I find at the library, discussions with my friends and editors, and even from the celebrities that I base my characters images after.
Particularly for Wolf & Sheep, because it is a story that encompasses so many characters, conflicts, and plot twists, it is not easy to say I get "ideas" from simply personal experiences - maybe a lot of Tyce's ideals and beliefs are a reflection of my own, and perhaps many things, such as car chases and gunfights are inspired by movies and dramas, but ideas can spring from pretty much anything - it just depends on how far you're willing to go as the creator.
From nell123 (soompi.com/forums)
Who are your favorite characters? Are there characters you don’t like? Why? Which characters do you enjoy writing about? Are there any that make it difficult for to write? Why? I’m especially interested in the female characters because you drop them into the story without saying much about them. You give much more background information about the boys. Tyce is an exception because she is the leading lady but what about the others? We know Hanna from the first part of story but we don’t know anything about her?...And what about Iris? Who is she? Why is she so close to Jin and how did she become his sister-in-law?
First of all, these are all very good questions. ^^ Since I don't want to make this too long a post (it already is), I will just answer each question as succinctly as possible.
My favorite characters are actually those who don't play a major leading role, but are just as important when it comes to getting things done, especially Andy, Hye Sung, Hong Jun, Renzo, and Jin (he is an exception), who has so much more to him than meets the eye.
The characters I don't like are the ones I don't write enough about, including Eric, Dong Wan, and plenty of the bad guys like Mike and Taka. I also don't like Hannah simply because I've made her into this stereotypical bimbo who is quick to anger and pick fights. She's very 2-D still, but I don't think I will be developing her character any further because Tyce simply does not have the time.
A character that I find difficult to write is Hwan Hee because there is so much background and history and mystery to him that it simply cannot be squeezed into Tyce's story. It would be ideal to have a side-story for Hwan Hee just so we can have a greater insight into his life and how he came to be who he is currently. If you think of Hwan Hee and his characteristics and traits as the Han Clan's leader, you would realize a lot of things about him that you probably overlooked before. The entire set-up of the Han Clan, though very much like a gang, is not like the typical Asian gangs/mobs that you see in movies.
Hwan Hee, in his own time and story, has changed the Han Clan from what it was to what it is now, and like a domino effect, so the rest of the people within the Clan are changing, and what I mean by this is really simple: instead of smuggling goods in and out of the country or doing illegal things, Hwan Hee is trying a more different and legal approach to making money. You don't ever hear of the Han Clan selling drugs or weapons, nor do they go around beating up everyone they meet. They also don't own nightclubs. Hwan Hee and his traits, therefore, embodies and reflects the Han Clan as a whole, and that's why he's such a difficult character to write because there is too much to write about him with too little space and time.
I think if Wolf & Sheep did not have any women other than Tyce featured in there, it would still be the same story. I think in Tyce's world, the men are enough to keep her life chaotic and interesting. However, as chaotic as they are, they also seem to less complicating to her because she knows how to deal with them (she's closer to her father than her mother, has been surrounded by boys like Jin since she was a young teenager, etc.), wherewas the women in her life, such as her mother, her ex-boss, Hannah, and even Iris and Ji Hye, she doesn't really know how to deal with them because she cannot identify herself with them.
Take, for instance, Hannah, who has no self-respect. Iris is a scorned woman who has come to accept things the way they are (she married Hong Jun and is still married to him while Tyce is trying to avoid marriage to Min Woo - both Hong Jun and Min Woo are in the same line of work). Ji Hye is also married to a Han Clan member, but Tyce does not understand and level with Ji Hye because she was raised differently and she views the world differently. For one thing, she's got a lot more issues than Ji Hye. Yeong Mi, Hwan Hee's sister, is still too young and into her own world that it is hard for Tyce to connect with her. Tyce's own mother, someone who she has known all her life, has always kind of neglected the reality of things (she's in la-la land most of the times), and as a result, Tyce does not have a female where she can actually identify with.
If she had not known Jin while she was young, maybe she would have made a best friend in high school or something, but that's another story for another day. I know this is a pretty bad summary/analyzation of the women featured in the story, but you (and I) must keep in mind that the story is told from Tyce's point of view, and she can only be in so many places at one given time. I think a lot of "info" can be absorbed from each female character just by a short encounter with Tyce, but it really depends on whether or not that female character will serve a greater purpose in the story. And if you think about it, even the guys in the story are pretty limited in terms of us knowing them.
And to address your question on Iris (as quickly as I can): Hong Jun is Jin's older brother. Hong Jun married Iris (because he loves her, and partially because he needed access to a bank in Europe where he can have a lot of money wired without undergoing legal processes). Iris has green eyes because she is half French, half Korean. She is close to Jin because she sees him as a younger brother (adopting Hong Jun's family as her own), and Jin is close to her because he thinks she's a great person with a beautiful heart, and thinks his brother Hong Jun doesn't deserve someone like Iris.
From woojinnie (livejournal)
it would be interesting if you could blog about how you plan on the chapter? or just paste your 1st drafts with and/or without the corrections?
My chapters, to be honest, are all somewhat tedious to plan. To begin with, I have just about my entire story plotted out, so I just move along that timeline (I jot notes for future reference and save them into my Wolf & Sheep folder, and most of the time I just add notes right behind the last chapter in the original Word document so I don't forget my plots/ideas).
As each chapter progresses, many things are taken out and added in. The plot and storyline will generally be going in the same direction, but how I take it with each chapter depends greatly on what is happening in that particular chapter. For instance, if I know that Min Woo and Tyce are supposed to have a heated argument, I may think I want to put them in his house on a rainy night and Jin will interrupt. When writing, things are bound to change - this much is obvious to all of us, but I am just reiterating this point because I want to be detailed in my explanations - so after writing the entire chapter out, I may end up with Min Woo and Tyce arguing at Min Woo's house, but it may be afternoon and sunny, and Yeong Mi will interrupt them instead. By the second or third final edit, I may have changed my mind completely and there would be no argument at all and my characters would be driving somewhere to rescue someone instead, and along the way getting ambushed by bad guys. The storyline is still headed in the same direction as I originally plan, (I work in both small scales and large scales when it comes to plotting storylines), but within getting from point A to point B, a whole bunch of shit happens and that's what makes the story a lot more interesting and surprising.
So, again to answer your question, I plan each chapter so that the characters are still going to end up where I want them to be in the long run, but while they are going from chapter to chapter, I want to use every opportuned moment I have to beat them into stronger characters; they learn more in each chapter, they discover something they didn't know before, they grow, flourish, and become more vulnerable to danger and conflict, which will cycle back to them being beaten up to be stronger characters. My plots work to the advantage of my characters - the choices they make and the actions they take are all dependent upon what is happening in the story.
At the same time, while my characters are being slowly developed throughout the story, I try to make sure a new chapter will follow the prior one; things have to make sense and it all has to tie up well - I have to pay attention to the date, the time of day, the importance and usefulness of dialogue, the character's goals for that chapter or for the next few chapters, are their current problems being settled, etc. Some chapters end up reading more like fillers, and others end up packed with information. But no matter what happens in each chapter, the few main things that I would always try to include in each chapter are things like the setting, character description/mood, timeline (from morning to night? or is it a short scene? do i want the chapter to go fast timewise, or slow?), useful dialogue, facial expressions, and (my readers hate this one) of course, a cliffhanger. ;]
I had a few really good questions from my readers at Addiction forum, but the site is down and I am unable to do anything about it. If you are a reader from Addiction wondering where you can find the story, please leave a message here or e-mail me at kpopchild@yahoo.com. A lot of my answers are not that clear or easy to follow because my brain is scattered all over the place at 4 in the morning. If something's not clear, don't hesitate to ask and I will try my best to explain (when I am more awake). If anyone is curious about other things regarding Wolf & Sheep or has other questions, do ask and I will be blogging again soon. ^____^ Thanks for reading this rediculously long post! | |
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it has been a little over two years since i've started working on the second story... so far, i have fifty chapters, which means it's an average of 2 chapters per month. if i were an actual author whose only way of surviving was to write, i'd probably have starved to death by now. of course, you could argue that if i made a living by writing, that's all i'd be doing so i'd have more time than i think and i'd be able to write faster because my attention and concentration wouldn't be so divided. well, either way, it does not feel like two years, and time does pass by too quickly. before you know it, it'll be 2009 and my birthday would be approaching quickly, and then summer would have gone, and then it's christmas again, and the new 2010 all in the blink of an eye. story one took a year to finish. story two took two years, so does that mean story three will take three years? . . . you know what, don't answer that.
but on to the story. i have finally pulled my pathetic self together and finished a new chapter (for those of you who do not know). this chapter is pretty... um, what's that word... packed with info. when writing one long chapter (my usual chapters usually average around eight pages long on word, font size twelve) over a long period of time (yeah, yeah, a month for poor old me), the chapter feels like it has sections. for example, chapter fifty began with tyce going through the shopping bags and sorting out the items in it, and then hyesung comes in to have lunch with her, and then she meets the two stylists who pretty her up, and then jin finally enters the chapter and leaves in a very bad mood. that's four sections in one chapter, and though each 'section' is not that long or visually detailed, there are still bits and pieces of info that travel though that sometimes will foreshadow what is to come, or even give a short insight on what has happened in the past (way before chapter one of story one came into being).
the first section with tyce and the shopping bags may indicate the importance and consideration the han clan has for the council meeting, or maybe even other more important things - i would never bother with describing clothes and stuff unless it would come in handy later - and the moment where tyce is between the two dressers in the walk-in closet and briefly remembers minwoo should say that she is really concerned for him, and, like the readers, she misses minwoo, too. the scene with hyesung is an opportunity for us to find out more about the council members, and they are going to be important in the near future, so the details are rather important.* the scene with the stylists... well, again, the han clan is trying for a classy first-second-third impression, and they need their leading lady looking like a beauty-queen who is off-limits. the last section brings us jin, who we are all happy to see (except my second editor, who prefers hwanhee for anything and everything) and we get a small moment of peace between the two. i think this is the most important part of the whole chapter. i could have began chapter fifty with tyce coming out of the bathroom to find jin and end it with jin angrily leaving the room and it would have been a complete chapter on its own (more detailed, of course) because there is so much going on in that small moment between them even though it may not read like it. wolf & sheep is more plot-driven rather than character-driven, therefore, when i can spare a moment for any of my characters to reflect upon each other and themselves, i really try to make it worth something.
tyce and jin are on the same page in terms of wanting to "run away" together. this is a bit difficult since tyce is arguably in love with minwoo as well, and she could have told jin that if jin was in minwoo's place, she wouldn't leave him either, but she didn't. but my first editor, while discussing the characters with me, fell angry with jin because he loves her and wants her to be safe and away from all this trouble, yet, at the same time, he is not able to man up and make it happen. i say it's because his brother, hong jun, is neck-deep in with the han clan and at this point in time, tyce makes or breaks the han clan, therefore, jin cannot take tyce away from the han clan (and from his brother for that matter) if he wants his brother to make it out of this mess alive (he does not want iris to become widowed; yes, our jin has a heart). but then the editor clarifies that not only is jin lukewarm about tyce's choices and situations involving the han clan, but he is also lukewarm about their relationship. sure, he made love to her the night and morning before she returned to seoul, but other than that, he never really made any major efforts to reconcile with her fully, to mend their broken relationship, or to win her over completely. i replied that it is because jin has always treated tyce like an equal (and i knew this from the moment i put jin into the story) thus, he wants her to make her own decisions concerning their love, and he wants her to come to him willingly.
their open-ended relationship may be an easier option for jin since he himself cannot push further into their relationship because he lives a very unstable life. he loves her, he gets jealous of her other men easily, he scolds her for not putting herself first, but the at the same time, he is rarely sentimental about his love for her, he tolerates brian because minwoo is intolerable, and he tends to let her pick herself up when she falls down. to tyce, jin is and can be everything from a lover to a friend to a parent, and maybe even soulmate. with chapter fifty, i'm terrible with describing or writing about emotions, so i hope that with the few little lines asserting her emotions and reaction to jin is enough to get the point across... and if you don't know what "point" i am talking about (there is more than one), then i probably have failed...?
* a lot of people have also shown interest in analiza. is it because she has something to do with minwoo, or because she is a girl and it is rare for me to have girl characters in the story, or maybe because hannah is such a rotten egg that they want to see how analiza compares? who knows. only two ways to find out: dig the answer out of me (which you can't, mwahaha) or be patient and wait for the next chapter.
and i'm just wondering... anyone lost track of all the characters yet? lol... i'll try to slow down on the adding, but i love adding new characters, because that means i get to get rid of the old ones. no, i am not making this story up (on the spot) as i go. i do plan ahead and i often change my direction, but i have two wonderful editors to help me stay on track as well, so thank you, editors. ^^
and before i finish this long-ass post, i'd like to do an informal "survey" to ask my readers (on this blog or other fanfic sites) what are some of the things involving wolf&sheep, or writing in general, that you would like me to blog about? don't be shy; i'm pretty open-minded and will consider anything that is worth considering. thanks. =)
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- Music:Dynamic Duo - You Back (feat. 0C.D)
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| 7 weeks ago is how long it's been since my last post here at the wolf blog. well, i guess it's been just as long since i've written a new chapter. i guess it's just one of those down times when i know what is happening, but my mind is dead and my fingers refuse to execute my ideas... i often have these periods when i can't write, but then inspiration is at a high for graphic design and artwork, so i tend to spend more time on those... other times, when neither writing and graphics appeal to me, my photography side seems to take hold of me.
<___< it's terrible, i know. nothing's getting done. to top that off, i'm under so much pressure from everything - i need to get a job, my bills are going to start multiplying, i need to lose weight, i'm hoping to spearhead a few projects at church but everything's so slow to take shape, getting back into a regular routine is not easy when so many people are depending on you please them, and i'm fed up with the fact that a lot of shitheads are getting recognition for something that isn't even worth skimming through. oh, and originality is uncomprehended by the mass.
i think i may just be too damn depressed to get through chapter 49 right now. i also sometimes feel like a burden to my second editor. i'm still enduring a summer cold, my readers all think i'm dead, tyce is about to go crazy, and my poor minwoo is locked away somewhere. -sigh-
i miss visiting lamentations.
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| i'd like to say thank you to all the readers who took the time to respond to my previous post about insightful feedback and whatnot, whether here on LJ or on other forums. =)
faricsyung: personally, i would not mind if a reader chooses not to leave a comment at all. i'm not anal enough to require a reply from every person who touches my fic. i guess i'm just saying if someone chooses to comment at all, might as well make it worth it, right? =] and thanks for coming back to read. you must let me know what chapters those damn 'john tesh' and 'pinkberry' words are hiding in! LOL
jellydaman: i agree with you that people treat it as a fanfic. i haven't really been a fanfic reader for so long that i've forgotten how to think like one for the most part. there no hard feelings whatsoever for those readers who simply read Wolf & Sheep because they want to enjoy a fanfic in their own ways. ^_^ and thank you for being supportive of the story for what it is. to be honest, if i killed minwoo off now, i'd probably stop writing Wolf & Sheep. let's hope that never happens. =P
bitterluv: i understand what you're saying. i'm like that a lot of times, too. even i find it hard sometimes to think from a reader's point-of-view about something insightful to say when it comes to certain chapters i write. i hope i didn't sound like i was complaining in my post. thanks for being so considerate and encouraging. ^__^ and yes, i do recognize your screenname from soompi!
margaret: don't worry too much about it, sweetie. i'd like you to be yourself as much as possible when responding. lol. just knowing you read and enjoy the story is enough. =]
tookie116: thank you for being very elaborate with your comment at my W&S thread on soompi. i appreciate the feedback, and i'm sure you'll find a lot of your questions answered before the trilogy (third story, of course) is over. i agree that the first story is very undeveloped, but i did not gain my two editors until the second story, and i wish i had had them during the first story. there are so many things i could change, and i will be editing story one continuously until i am satisfied with it, but until then, i can only continue the story and hope that maybe later on old readers would go back and re-read the story. ^__^ i'll respond more to you regarding your reply when i post the next chapter.
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sometimes i wonder why i chose to split Wolf & Sheep into three parts.
are you guys curious as well? =P
currently, Wolf & Sheep totals 90 chapters altogether - soon to be 91. i guess splitting the story is just a way of trying not to scare of potential readers. i know i'm terrified of going near stories that have more than a hundred chapters - though i will make an exception for some good reads. on the other hand, i don't know how i'd feel about approaching a story that has more than one part to it.... damn. i need to make up my mind, really. see why tyce is so indecisive? LOL
but another reason for splitting the story into an estimated three parts is so that time may pass. nobody wants to read uneventful parts, so all that is skipped with the amount of time that has passed between each story - as far as we know, it must've been a good two months we fly by in the actual plot before we come upon tyce resting on a chaise in her and jin's hotel room. then you can use your imagination to fill in for what happened winthin that time between W&S I, chapter 44 and W&S II, chapter 01, which is approximately 2 months. then again, this cannot be a strong enough reason, because the time frame from story 2 to story 3 will be a relatively short one... and that is all i am going to say for now.
- Mood:grateful
- Music:Ok Joo Hyun - Honey
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| I believe posting up a story online is like giving birth to a baby. You can't do it on a whim (well, yes you can) and you can't be irresponsible about it. Once it's born, it's born - there's no going back. It takes a lot of work and dedication to raise a story. You've got to pay attention to it, acknowledge it, nurture it, and love it with all your heart. You've got to teach it good things, feed it well, dress it, groom it, raise it up to be the best that it can be, and then when it's ready to be let go into the cold, cruel world, it will undergo harsh criticism and maybe even crash and burn. You just let it go and hope for the best anyway because as a parent, no matter how much you want to, you can't always shelter your child.
I say this because nowadays, it's very difficult for me to just write a story on a whim, or from a random thought that passes through my mind. It would take me months of planning and reworking and revising in order to even be satisfied with chapter one. It's not that I'm the worst critic of my work, but because a story to me is very much like a child. You can't just say, "Oh, I think I'm going to have a baby today." It doesn't work like that anymore. Maybe it did when I was 17, but with a few years of online fanfic writing behind me, I see that it's not that easy. And if it had been, then I must've been some irresponsible parent, for sure.
Back then when I used to read a lot of fanfics on Soompi and Solid, I had friends who would post a new story up every month, and sometimes they'd just abandon their current ones due to "lack of inspiration" or a "busy schedule". There are some circumstances we cannot forsee, but I take writing more seriously now than I did back in 2003, and if I know I can't keep up with more than two stories simultaneously, I don't try. It's like trying to have one kid after another without giving yourself a break. What woman (or man) would want to do that to her/himself? Sometimes it's fine to have a couple of stories on hand so that when your muse runs out on you for one story, you can always work on the other ones for excercise, but to post the story up online for readers to enjoy (and wait on), it's kind of like letting a premature baby go to school where it will be surrounded by all sorts of people (eeek!).
Why do I use the mother/baby metaphor to talk about this? Because "Wolf & Sheep" is my baby, and most of my close friends know it. =P
And to make this post relevant to the story, I just wanted to say that I've worked hard on the last few chapters because they are very informative and they move the plot to a whole other level. I just wish the readers could have a better reaction to them than, "When's Minwoo and Tyce finally going to screw?" or "I hate Brian, he's so annoying." I mean, maybe they do see all the important stuff that I literally throw at them while yelling, "Look here! This and this and this and that and this and all this shit is important to the story and to the main protagonist!", but sometimes it's a bit too amusing to read the responses I get and wonder if I'm just a bad writer or if people are just skimming through, fishing for Minwoo bits. Makes me wonder how many readers will still be left with me at the end of this trilogy if I kill Minwoo off now.
And I'm not even asking for essay-length replies, or for an agreement, but if someone is going to comment on the chapters at all, might as well acknowledge the more important things, too, while they're at it. Authors notice and appreciate those readers who give back insightful replies more - that's a given. Most authors who post their stories online aren't asking for attention or flattery, but perhaps a connection or relationship with their readers, even if it's just to the smallest extent. They aren't writing for the sake of writing, but for the sake of storytelling, and you don't tell a story to a brick wall. Interaction is always a wonderful thing. Sometimes we writers just wish that brick walls could talk as well.
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My co-worker, Richard, has been asking to read "Wolf & Sheep" for quite some time now, but I purposely forget to e-mail him the story or just a link because I keep worrying about what he'd think about my grammar and story content. I mean, for fanfic readers, it's pretty common to read a lot of typos or story contents that don't particularly flow and whatnot, but Richard is not a fanfic reader in any sense and I'm afraid he'd think, "God, a UCSB student writes like this?" ... well, I'm not wrong about that statement - plenty of UC students here can't write for shit.
But I'm hesitant because 1.) I started "W&S" when I was 19, therefore, bad writing (and 3 years can make a shitwhole lot of a difference) and 2.) I did not have an editor to spot me for typos during W&S 1. Having an editor or just someone to read your chapters before you post can be such a wonderful thing if you want to improve your writing and keep it better.
I've been aware of the different style and characteristics of my characters for a long while now, which is why I haven't been able to put W&S 1 up anywhere as a whole story yet because I'm still editing as if my life depends on it! And I'm editing it without the help of my editors, too, so the work is extra slow and extra painful. I'll have to go through it first for characterization and story structure before I can give it to my editors to read for grammar and whatnot. I'm not planning to publish the story, so why go crazy, right? Well, I'd still like to have a neat and polished story once I am done, and it's something I can be proud of because by the time this story ends, I would have worked on it for a good five or six years. If I spend six years on a story, I'd wanna make sure it's clean from nails and splinters, otherwise I'd just jump off a cliff.
In a way, Tyce's character change (or maturity, I guess) also reflects me as a writer. She started out rebellious and a bit irrational, unable to control her life no matter what. Sixty chapters later, she's stronger and more careful about a lot of things. And although some readers would argue that she's still the same in the sense that she's indecisive and unstable, I would say I'm writing from a realistic point of view - as much as I am able to anyway. I would say it is not because Tyce is an indecisive person, but because she has not been given the opportunity where the thing/person/situation demanding a solid answer is deserving of a complete and honest decision from her. There are plenty of other things as well to consider before ruling Tyce out as an indecisive person, but I won't dwell on that issue.
Going back to Tyce's character growth and the way she was in story 1, I'm still debating whether or not to change that pattern. I'm definitely going back to rewrite and reedit essential parts that I feel would only better the story, but as for the destructive nature of Tyce and co., I will try to leave it the way it is.
Maybe when I get far enough into editing story 1 and gather enough confidence, I'll give Richard a few chapters to read.
Thank God the second story has editors! Let's hope they'll stick around long enough for the third story. =]
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I finally got around to putting up a layout for this blog. Ya'll like it? ^__^ Reminds me of coffee...
And you guys don't need to point out the bad photoshopping of the graphic above - I rushed it. <_<
I hate the ugly space-hogging ad banners. T______T Somebody upgrade me? ...
- Mood:drained
- Music:Lara Fabian & Bryan Adams - Surrender To Me
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| So I was in my Chinese Cinema class today and while watching The Yellow Earth (made a few millenias ago), I was thinking about l ast week's screenings, which were Once Upon a Time in China I & II with the famous and brave knight Wong Fei-Hong (Jet Li). Every time Fei-Hong kicks/fly/breaks through a door/wall/window/ship and starts kungfuing everyone's sorry ass, that one song comes on - you know what song I'm talking about! It's got drums and strings - the works! (I love the Wong Fei-Hong character by the way). Wikipedia says the song is called "On The General's Orders" (將軍令), Fei-Hong's leitmotif, or what I call his "power song." The audience knows the song - even anticipates it, and after a while, that song can only be Wong Fei-Hong's, no one else's. Likewise, Kang Tae Joo (Eric Mun) from the drama Que Sera Sera also has a leitmotif. His "power song" is "Wolgwang" or "Moonlight" or "Moonrise" or "Munrise" - whichever you fancy. Whenever Tae Joo's in control, he starts walking and his pacing matching the beat of the song. And in class, my mind (which normally wanders) begins to wander... and I suddenly thought, what song would usually play every time Min Woo walks into a scene (if W&S was a movie)? What would be his power song? You can laugh. I did. To amuse myself (and you, perhaps), I've quickly composed two impermanent song list as leitmotifs for some character's. One is supposed to be for comedic purposes - the other reflects my serious side as a music lover. Please do not, under any circumstance, allow these songs into your heads whenever you're reading Wolf & Sheep - if ever Eric suddenly appears, you may just end up with "Bad Boys" stuck in your head for the rest of the day, and that'd be bad for you. And of course, you guys are more than welcome to suggest some more/others. Googling lyrics could be fun for those of you who don't listen to American/English music. =P The Goofy Leitmotif List - imagine this shit blaring when [insertnamehere] enters a room LOL MinWoo - When I Get You Alone (Robin Thicke) Brian - Can It Be With Me (Rain) Jin - Sorry, Blame It On Me (Akon) HwanHee - Big Thangs Poppin' (T.I.) HyeSung - Sex Bomb (Max Raabe) - so what's it gonna be, Sungie?... Sex, or a bomb? HongJun - Satisfaction (Rolling Stones) The Serious Leitmotif List
Tyce - Goodnight Moon (Shivaree) *just added*MinWoo - Complicated (Robin Thicke) & Believe In Love (M) Brian - Besame Mucho (Andrea Bocelli)
Jin - 2 The Sky (Robin Thicke) & Mondo Bongo (Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros) HwanHee - Romeo Misses/Retribution At Twilight (Craig Armstrong) HyeSung - Hanging (Craig Armstrong) & Invisible Ink (Temposhark) Now you try. ;] - Mood:contemplative
- Music:Temposhark - It's Better To Have Loved
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There was a lack of light in the house, a certain disparity of dark and light where the dark made its way past the hollow corners and empty rooms. I took one last walk around just to familiarize myself with the rooms, the length of the hall, and the paradox of having so little light in a new house. - W&S II, IV I pay the biggest attention to the smallest details, and at times, it can be hard with a 82 & + chapters story - especially when it comes to space and time. I'm a visual person, and a film student. When I write descriptions for places (house/room, etc.) I try to picture them the way you would see a scene on film, everything from the depth of the room to the amount of light. I find myself being very forgetful from time to time, and throughout "Wolf & Sheep" it becomes difficult to try to make each new room or place seem different from the previous. I invested so much time into Hong Jun and Iris' vacation house in Seoul only to find that I don't have enough room! I'm going, "Wait, there's only three bedrooms?" and outraged at that because where the hell is Renzo going to sleep? One thing I've been doing since Story 1 is sketching out my own "blue prints" (or better yet, layouts) of the houses - starting with Min Woo. I won't show you the layout for Min Woo's house though. I did that in like 2 minutes and it's ugly as hell. I refuse to embarrass myself in that way. -__-;; I've never shown these layouts to readers, except for a few special and close friends, so I hope whichever of my readers reading this blog will find it a treat! ^^ This is the layout for Tyce's house that she bought in Paris. CLICKI haven't done a layout for the stylish vacation house or Hwan Hee's state-of-the-art penthouse, but hopefully I'll find time to get to them later. Depending on how the plot will play out, places and time differ for each story. Many stories don't require such detailed attention to things like this, but like I said, I'm a visual person and I like to envision what I am reading or writing. If it is important to the character (who is telling the story), then attention must be given to that specific time or place (because in "Wolf & Sheep", the details eventually play a bigger role as sooner or later someone will storm through and start shooting up the place). Layouts also help me remember which sections of the house I end up destroying... - Mood:sleepy
- Music:Jewel - You Were Meant For Me
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| I don't know how it is for most fanfic writers nowadays, but I can't seem to get my detail-obsessed self (a point of irony) to start fanfics at ground zero, meaning the two main characters (I am basing this entry off a man/woman romance relationship) meet for the first time and begin to KNOW each other. I think it takes too long and I suck at dialogue, so any story I attempt to write with the characters completely unknown to each other is definitely bound to fail.
Take for example, my [incomplete and abandoned] fanfic "Tipsy" from 2004/5, just before "Wolf & Sheep" began. I started Minwoo and Maiko off as complete strangers to each other, and by the time they got used to each other, I was already on chapter 11 with the story progressing at snail pace. If that is enough to bore the writer, how do you suppose the readers would feel? But that's just my opinion. Some writers could write at snail pace (story timeline-wise) forever and you'd never get tired of it. In fact, it drives you insane because the rate of suspense IN the time these actions/plot revelations take place is so slow that it's agonizing and almost unendurable. But back to the subject. I'd been planning for the two main characters, Minwoo and Maiko, to eventually have a romantic relationship (once I've gotten off my lazy ass to jumpstart their attraction to each other - which was NOT animalistic at all (LOL)) and fall in love and all that jazz. But then things got in the way: the trouble, which was what made the story interesting in the first place. Maiko was pregnant when she met Minwoo, Taebin was chasing her to get rid of the "evidence", Hyesung's life was being threatened because Minwoo didn't know wtf he was going to do with Maiko, and plenty more was coming. I suppose I could have continued writing that story with them being just friends, but then there was no other real motivation for the characters to be with each other if they were just friends... this may sound impossible to you, but believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
My stories are often very plot-driven rather than character-driven. From analyzing Tyce, I'd say you could almost make it a character-driven story, but so much is happening in so little time that it's hard to get into her head. She's all over the place and no one tells her anything until the very last minute - usually when they're running for their lives under fire or something. Over time, I think I also forgot to develop her as a character because, like Tyce, I was too caught up in the suspense of it all to remember who she was, how she became that way, and what her mental state is. Instead, I try to bring out those small touches of her character through the events and my other character's actions in the story, such as Brian (the dates, the piano, the birthday, his family, his past, etc.), Jin (her background in computers, her relationship with her mother, her tough nature to be just as quick and callous), and of course, Min Woo (who represents everything she hates).
And because my stories are more plot-driven, I must rely on the turn of events to bring out the characteristics of my characters through their relationship (or lack of)... at least for "Wolf & Sheep." That's why we met Tyce when she was four months into knowing Min Woo, 11+ years of knowing Jin, and Brian's struggling because he met her in "the present time". (See what I mean! See what I mean!!! I suck at 'new' relationships! *dies* )
Now, if "Wolf & Sheep" started off with something like, "I met a man named Min Woo today", I'd still be on story one, AND the story would be going at dead-snail pace! Or better yet, if I had started from when Tyce and Jin just started dating... O_O
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